Welcoming A New Member of Our Family...

Here is our new Family Member! And we still need a name for it.. Any suggestion is welcome and drop it on the chatbox on the right. ^^

Fucking Prick

I really hate what happened today. I hate it when cat and dog are fighting.. coz it seems never end..

Of coz i'm not talking bout cats and dogs literally but what happened today exactly can relate that.

I nearly lost my patience back then, feel like just punching them both sia.. Enough is Enough already... Cant we jus get along? Do you think we all like see you guys fight? You think this is some kind of an entertainment for us? FUCK NO! I don't give a shit bout what ever you think of, jus don't do this infront of my youngest bro.. don't u guys have dignity or shame?

And yeah, i know u might read this so i wanna tell u this. GROW THE FUCK UP! Why is it u all must drag old stories into this shit, u do this u do that, u nvr do this, u nvr do that. arghhh! If u wish to leave us just fucking leave us. and just fuck off to that prick off yours... FUCK OFF! I will be emailing that prick myself for him to leave the fuck out of our fucking life.. dont tempt me on doing it!

_l_

Blog official Pictures

Blog Official Picture 1.

Picture 2

I will update soon.. right now, my head is in a freakin mess so cant update that much.

Adios...

Stupid Quote! Damn you!

Life's not worth it when you're not living it.

I regret reading that quote... Now i feel all sorry ass with myself again. Really, i just could wish that i can live my life. My life is dull like a freakin butter knife. I wanna enjoy life, wanna go out, make some trouble and stuff. My life last time is much much more better then what it is now. Now it's just problem after another problem and this is making me all choked up. I just wish that my life, or our family life can be back as before. Words can't explain how i feel now. Never mind, I'm slowly losing my memory so i rather let it go away as time pass by.

Crap, i guess this is the end of my private time alone now that everyone has woken up. so, gotta go!

Haunting Past/Police Investigation

My heart, it now aching because of ghostly past figure is haunting me back.

It's my fault i got this heartache. Stupid me, i shouldn't be doing what i wasn't suppose to do. Now, it's haunting me back and making me more stress. To me, this is just a small history that I might forget in a few days, but it was still a huge part of my past... Let this be a lesson for me not to toy with memories...

Yesterday afternoon Two plain clothes Policemen came over to my house to talk to two of my younger siblings. They (Police) suspect them (My kid bros) of something which I'm not gonna tell here. They question them, take pictures and information of them. This kinda bug me coz, i know my brothers all to well and i don't think they do what the Police suspect them of doing. It's just to absurd. The Police say they got witness and they point that my two brother is the suspect among Eight other suspects. I don't know either to laugh or to be pissed at the witness saying my bros did the deed on them. Gosh, I'm going bonkers again. Thankfully the Policemen only questioned them and didn't charge them coz they assist the Police for the On-going investigation.

This matter nearly make my parent (especially my dad) more stressed up, thankfully it's nothing, so he didn't have to worry much.

As for me now, I have been having this powerful headache on and off for nearly 6 fucking day, I have stop smoking temporarily for 3 days now to see whether there's any change. So far the chest/lung pain has relieved abit but the headache still there.

Ok, this is the part I say Sayonara to my readers and Imma go and get high with Panadol... HAHA! *cough*

Have a great or at least a better day then me.. haha! Chow!

Speech Tourette...

Can stress make your speech all fucked up? I think so.

Coz, i seems to talk in either English or Malay verbally in a funny way when i'm really stress. Eg: whenever i talk i would like mumbling it and mispronounce every word i say... And my memory also fucked up man, sometime when i'm talking to someone, i can totally forget whatever i'm trying to say without someone interrupt me. Eg: Me talking : "Bla bla bla bla, (then) ......... (Wth am i suppose to say)" something like that. and it's kinda creep me out abit. Going senile at a young age LOL!

I was once hit my head so very badly few years back when i ride my bike and trying to avoid a car while on a raining day.. i never went for doctors for check up till now. and i still got constant migraine (on top of stress) since that accident. ARGGHH! WTH is wrong with me! I'm like a robot which about to spoil! I need an upgrade LOL!

Sigh.... Maybe i'm gonna die soon...

Watch movie alone.. so sad.. T_T

Today, went out with my babe to Bugis, she wanna hang out with me and wants me to accompany her to buy a Halloween costume for the occasion. So I did. We had lunch at Rochor Hawker Center, after that she got something to do so she left me for 2 hours while i eat away my Popcorn till my jaw aches and watched the movie "Pandorum" which is sux, all alone at Illuma mall at Bugis.. LOL, 1st time watch movie alone. so sad kena dump one side.. heheheh.

So, after the movie we met up again and go for dinner at KFC then we went for shopping.. It's quite nice to accompany her but you know la bringing a girl for shopping it's not a good idea coz girls are always fickle on buying things.. Unlike we men we only shop what we want only...hahaha! Yeah, so after she got what she wants (and what she didnt get) we went home and i got a huge headache... haha....

On the way home, i saw this hot babe on the train who kept staring at me... I dunno why, mayb coz of my weird fashion that day or what, but its quite uncomfortable to be stared or being look at for quite sometime. Geez.. sometimes people never notice u and stuff and suddenly got the attention u feel uneasy about it.. lolz... i sot already.. haha.. k la... gtg do something else.. chiow!

Confuse and Lost

I'm confuse. I'm not gonna say what I'm confuse about but maybe by the end of this post u should know.

I got this mixture feeling of ******* in amidst i'm in a lot of shit right now. I'm just confuse and lonely.

God Damn! I really need to get rid of this feeling before it eats me from the inside. Someone PLEASE slap me and take me back to the real world plox. I need to get away, far far away from *******. I can't let myself be open to such ridiculous things. I don't need anymore problems than what already is. I'm too soft, too vulnerable now (as in mentally), any more beating i would just lay dead... How should i get rid of it? arghh... major migraine is killing me again.

The Face That Calm The Beast Inside.

This morning when i woke up (When my babe call me to go out wif her), I felt so crappy, I feel so emotionally exhausted although i didn't cry didn't shout my lung out or whatever. You know, when u watch anime, sometime got this feeling of a certain characters are doing like having dark clouds with lightning on top of them or having this dark aurora surround them. That's how i felt.

After a few hours, i recovered abit and feel abit better. i eat, i do my regular stuff, and go out with my babe. At 1st i dun wanna meet anyone coz i feel so shitty. But then she need my help and wanna come over so i agree. And then i saw her, and i smile for the 1st time for the day. Seeing her always makes me laugh. Coz she's in a way a goofy bimbo with a heart (Chey, later she read this blog she perasan). We went for late lunch at Subway. And after that i thought that she's gonna come over to my place, but she said she got someone to meet someone for movie. So there she goes, and there i goes. I'm back being in the mediocre and pathetic life that i have right now. Back home, i feel more calmer and relax after seeing and talk wif that bimbo. heheh... Well that's the only entertainment i have for today lol. She's being nagging at me non stop at me to be happy and think that all gonna be ok. i tried but i cant.

I jus wanna get over this thing, and move on to a happy life. Sigh.. God really hates me and my Family.

See ya~

Reminiscence Of The Past, Not really...

There's nothing better like the past i might say.

Because the present is just so dark and bleak. My past life is better, although it was tough too but i still can take it. Not like now, where I am so weak and confuse in all the situation that i having right now. People might think that I'm calm and OK. But inside, I'm rather like a beast trying to get out of the cage of sorrow, despair, confuse and anger. Sometimes i feel like beating someone half to death when some just tick me off. But i cant, because I always think of the consequences that might happen if i do something stupid. I'm just lost, confused and hopeless. I'm low on morale, i feel like doing nothing the whole day. no work, no eat, no computer etc. Just lay on bed and act like I'm dead.

Sigh...

Why am i so depress? because i felt like i got no hope anymore. No chance in life, no chance to do something good. I felt like i cant do anything right anymore. The person that i thought is very strong emotionally is now on his knees. seeing him like this makes me lose hope of everything. I nearly lose hope on God. I used to cry allot when I'm too stressed out, coz i cant vent my anger anywhere and the only way is to shed tears. but now, i cant cry anymore, either im used to stressed now or i jus dun have any emotion left (Except for anger).

Sigh...

The past are really better than now. coz at that moment of time i was happy. i got a nice paying job, i got a loving girlfriend (Who what she say that i never care for her), got a quite a happy family. Now, i feel lonely. Although i got 8 family members living in my house (Which im about to lose also) i feel empty inside. i just dont know how to express myself toward others, even to my then GF. I just keep quiet. i just write to make myself feel better. And now when they all gone, i feel that i should talk to them rather then keep myself at bay frm them. Now i have regret it. But who cares? No one cares about how i feel. No one ever ask me what's goin on wif mylife (Except for My babe and Zhi). i just dont like this feeling of emptiness in me.

Sigh...

Lately my chest have been acting up strangely. It gives me alot of chest pain (Damn you cigarettes!). My hands are shaking so badly sometimes, its beyond control. My head, with more constant migrant acting up. My neck, my knees all acting up, my muscle twitch alot showing signs of over stress. Seems like my body cant take more of this stress. JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY PLEASE! Right now, my best friend is my cigarettes ^^. It keeps me company, makes my problem go away temporarily and it slowly killing me. Just what i need.

Anyway, i gotta go and sleep. it's already damn late and the chest pain that i hv right now is unbearable. i need meds!

So... see ya guys and hope you enjoy reading bout my suffering ^o^.
~Have a great day ahead.

I'm officially fucked...

To add more into my already miserable life, i just got a letter from Starhub for a final reminder to pay up outstanding balance of over $600+++. Now its already past the deadline and i guess i just have to wait till they come knocking on my door asking to pay up. If not i will go to court or they will auction off some of my stuff till it reaches the amount stated. What can get any worst than this. =_="

The Nightmare that came true...

What i've been fearing the most came true... Why such bad luck keeps on coming? Why is it the big guy up there hates us so much? Gosh... im really beginning to lose my mind. I tried to be optimistic about all this but it failed,it only worked for a few days until more fuck up came knocking on my miserable life. GOD, have mercy on our soul la... dun do things like this to us... I dunno who to blame, who to throw my tantrums at... i just keep it inside. and it slowly eating me from the inside. Maybe in a few month if this thing keeps on going, i might lose my sanity.. who knows? Sigh... GOD! PLEASE JUST LIFT THIS BURDEN THAT IS SET UPON US! PLEASE! I only can handle it jus a little bit more. More then that i dunno what will happens to me. T_T

Shit is happening again, and im not suprise.

They says "Hey, Shits happened!" Well i say shit happens way to many times here till i'm not surprise anymore.

Today, my dad got into an accident while driving his Bus and he seriously injured a driver. The story goes as what my mum told me. My dad felt asleep on the wheel and hit a taxi in front and the chain reaction hit another car in front. The driver of the car got out of the car and my dad accidentally hit the driver and from what i know is the driver is seriously injured. I still havent get the story from my dad, coz when i asked him, he didnt say anything. but from what i heard, the story doesn't add up. I'm sure stress already got into his head so much that he lost control rather then he slept at the wheel. And if really my dad hit the taxi, the whole bus should jerk and he should be awake by the sudden jerk and stop, instead of running over this guy. It's nt a complete thing so i should ask my dad about it again. I'm just worried if that guy my dad hit dies, my dad could get fired. THIS STORY IS NOT CONFIRM YET SO DUN ANYHOW SPREAD! THANK YOU!

Just hopr for the best. Again. Actually im sick of Hope. It doesnt help at all.
Just fuck off hope. i rather left hopeless then waiting for hope.

YAY! New post from me!

Heyya! Gee, someone wants me to update my blog, she said my blog already went stale coz no updates were made!

Ok, This year's Hari Raya is kinda different. Different in a good way. I felt that, we as the whole family are like more closer now than ever before. I don't know for sure, maybe it's just me. Haha! But nonetheless I'm very happy amid the crisis that we are having now.

To those who doesn't add me at Facebook, u can view our Hari Raya pictures here!
http://www.facebook.com/Kuromaru?ref=profile#/album.php?aid=112048&id=777282179

For the problems that me and my family are facing now, for me, i just wanna be cool about it. I can't go around telling or showing people that I'm miserable, i told that to my best friend and she agreed. I just gonna be cool and take one day at a time with a smile and laughter on my face.

So far i've been feeling great, or either i'm feeling great or i'm starting to lose my mind, I'm unsure. (they say if when u are too stressed out, u starting to change to a person who are not the usual self, and i got that kinda feeling) It's great to have someone to talk to,if that someone cant be reach, here is my haven for all my problems to temporarily goes away. It's like u get drunk or smoke or even get high on cough syrup! haha!

But nonetheless I'm glad to whoever or a Friend read this. It makes my day because i know someone is listening (if not advising) to my crappy problems. It's like what they said "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Have a great day ahead guys! ^o^

Hopes; Shattered.

1st of all, sorry for not posting new blog recently.
The reason is, my life just got more fucked!
When i thought i'm about to stand on my own two feet again, i got a whole load of shit crashing on me and in no time i'm on my freaking knees again. The shits that happens recently is so embarrassing i wont be posting here at the moment. And don't worry, i didn't get any girls pregnant and it's not about me. It's more of a family thing. =.=

Sigh... I don't know what the HELL is going on in my family that lead into this. This truly a tragic moment of our life. I dunno to get angry, or just stay quiet about it. I feel like ignoring that particular person but i didn't have a heart to do it. Feel like shouting and cursing that person my lungs out also no use. Someone tell me to calm down and don't do anything to rational. People do stupid stuff when they are angry. So i took that advise, and i calm the fuck down. From the moment i know the truth bout the shit, i straight away declare myself unrelated to that person. I'm ashamed of what that person done to our family.

I don't care what that person think since that person is already so called "made up their mind" bout the shit. I try not to get pissed, but every time i look at that person face, i feel like cursing that person and just go berserk on that person. But someone say no, just let it through and we see how it goes after Hari Raya. That's like a fucking 1 month away! We really need to think of something to stop all this madness and ridiculousness A.S.A.P.

I can't sleep properly, can't think properly and the only way to de-stress is to play games. Even that people thinks i'm as per normal. They don't know what's inside my mind and why i behave such an ass hole to some of them.
To u guys, i'm sorry. I'm to stressed out in this problems. And lastly, if u dun get whatever i just wrote i don't mind, coz i didn't specifically state my problem and just left some more question mark on ur head.

OK, i think i need more cigarette to smoke to so called "Realease" the problems.
~PS: I hate you GOD for doing this.

My Granny is in the Hospital!

She's all smile b4 we got to Kandang Kerbau Hospital.

Yesterday My mum,my sis,my uncle,my Gramp and my Granny went to the Kandang Kerbau Hospital, we all sent my granny there bcoz she's due for an operation later in the morning to remove the stone bladder.

Well so far today she's all fine, happy and stuff. I hope she'll b ok for the surgery later on. So later on in the aftrenoon we all gonna go and visit her again there after her morning surgery.

Hope all gonna be smooth sailing for her.. We will pray for u nenek!


She got that worried look on her face just now at her ward.

I have been busy!

1st of all, Sorry I if i didnt post blog as often coz i got other blog that im managing and sharing to post. so i'll try to post here as much as i can when i got more interesting shit to say! haha!
Cheers all!

Troubles and Problems

I really feel sorry for my friend, she end up moving again after being kicked out by her tenant. she already had enough problems, can the people around her cut her some slack? Damn that girl is already depressed and more problem piling up on her shoulder... Well i went there to help her again to move and met with her friend Vishallan (Nice guy) and talk bout the legal problems with her contract and stuff.. and now she end up moving to our friends house... Well i know they help them but from what we see from thier face, they are not too happy bout it.. tho, she gave them hundreds or maybe thousands of dollars worth of stuff... She jus need a good friend to help her dats all. i dunno man... And, me being myself cant do anything to help her... she so stressed out. But, nvm.. I gave her a birthday present and she seems to light up abit... So babe, cheer up don't be so down ok? Hope everything will be better for you in the future...

7/7/05

This date was actually was for my 4th anniversary with fie,but tragically we broke up... i totally forget about it until my Handphone make an alarm bout the anniversary... Damn stupid phone! arghh... make me remind of all the good and bad things we had.. zzzzzz... So since u just pop back into my memory, i just wanna say to Fie hope ur happy now and all the best to you... cheers.

Stupid Singtel...

Stupid sia, my iphone bill hvnt come yet sia... 2 month already, and still no BILL! how the hell am i gonna pay for the stupid BILL! Since when sia Singtel is becoming lousy at sending bill.. maybe singtel already rich and dun wan thier money anymore... LOL! I dun wan the line to be cut off! jeez... hav been called customer service billing center twice, dey say dey will send the bill in 5 working days, but nw nearly 2 weeks still hvnt got the bill... We can jus pay the bill without the bill, but i jus want to see wat am i paying FOR! i dun wan to pay anything without seeing the bill! so... singtel... BILL PLEASE!!! BTW Singtel, i'm nt Defaming ur company ah, so dun anyhow try to sue me... hahaha! *GULP*

Thanks ALL!

Thanks all for visiting my site, it already reached 200 visitors! at first i nvr thought i will reach 100, but nw 200! it's unbelievable! Thank u for ur support.
I promise i will update on my blog often as soon i got smthing interesting tu post! haha!

Transformer: Revenge of The Fallen Review

Well, we all must have agree that this film is the most anticipated movie of the year, and the movie really hit the spot! It's movie worth the wait all year!

Micheal Bay really did improve from what we saw in the First Transformer, he spiced it up with more humor, more action and certainly more CGI! Shia LeBouf and Megan Fox also did well in the movie. But the main star of the movies is surely the Autobots and The Decepticons! Who wanna watch the movies without all those huge ass robots right?!
In addition there are several new Autobots and Decepticons who i cant remember the name like the twins from Autobots (Who are VERY funny),New Chevy Stingray Concept also making a first movie appearance on the film, and not forgetting 3 new bikes which only 1 i spot was a Kawasaki Ninja, the other im nt sure. As for the Decepticons They have an Audi R8 which was cut in half (My heart ache for the Audi R8 to be destroyed so early in the film! T_T) by the Chevy Stingray Concept, the horny toy truck and the stealth jet name BlackBird (Who both later join the Autobots!). Well most Decepticons were bunch of construction vehicles so im nt sure the brand of it. Well there still some guys from the first film making a comeback like, Optimus Prime,BumbleBee,IronHide,Megatron,Starscream and a whole lot more!
Well the action is certainly is a drool, and the humor is worth laughing! its nt like some cheesy dry-humor. It's really funny! And certaintly i wont be writing all bout the movie here coz it will be a huge spoilers for all who havnt watch it.
Now get ur ass up, n go watch Transformer: Revenge of the fallen! As long u dont download illegally dats fine wif me! xp.

Now i have to wait for another upcoming movies like G.I Joe: Rise of the Cobra, Twilight The New Moon, Public Enemies, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Final Destination, Bruno,The Prince of Persia and most of all the animated movie, 9.
See you at the cinema! CHOW!
Wil, OUT!

Oh Dad...

Man, this father's day really didn't celebrate anything like any other years at all for my abah... We whole family should celebrate it but we all got other things in mind. at that time last Sunday i gone out with my friends Kin Yin, Melissa and Heidi and spend the nite at their place. When my friend Kin Yin took his dad out for dinner b4 that i kept on thinking why i didnt do this to my dad, celebrate father's day with him? Maybe it's all because he's nt really a...hw do u say...a not an ideal father... dun get me wrong, no matter hw he treat us we still love him. but he's the type who doesnt show us love, care and watever mushy stuff dat some dad do. he's more of a shouter, alot of angst, and ummmm...jus being himself... dats wat i dun like bout him. dats y mayb we didnt really appreciate him that much... dat's jus him, we cant change him. but nonetheless i feel kinda bad nt appreciates him after all wat he has done to us, the whole family.

Although it's 3 days late, i jus wanna wish u Happy Father's Day, Abah!

To my Grandfather whom i never get the chance to meet.

Well yesterday, my uncle, aunties and my cuzz and me went to Pusara Aman/Abadi at Lim Chu Kang Cemetery. We Went there to claim My Grandfather's remains to be move to the new burial site. It's kinda saddening enough that I nvr got the chance to ever meet him coz he died in the 70s while i was born on the 80s and smmore i dun think i ever visit his grave and wen i got the time to visit the grave, i only get to see it got exhume. Well i guess that's what it takes to see my atok (Grandpa), in coffin and bones instead of flesh and blood. Well if he's alive rite now, he must be kind and cool as my nenek (Grandma).

Well Lets say a prayer (Or Al-Fatihah to Muslims out there) to the decease all over the world, expecially to my late atok (Both Mum n Dad Side), late Grandma (My Father side).

And To the Guys who work at the Graveyard telling us nt to take photos hope u guys wont get fired for the pix here! hehe!

Parenting

Ermmm... does all the parent in the world right now have a problem listening to thier child? my parents are like that, they didnt even bother listening to their children problem. i got all messed up in my life and they even say that its all because of hw i treat them, n this is wat i get in return.. wat kinda parent do dat? when ever i hv a problem, the dun wanna hear it, and if dey do hear it, whenever we fight, they will use my problem,and use it against me. stupid right? no wonder my other 5 younger siblings hate my parents attitude so much. they doesnt seems to care wat their child's problem is. they only think "oh, i gave u shelter and food, its enough wat". sometimes a child need thier parent to b their listening ear. we do hav problems to u knw. we also knw that evry parents too do hav alot of problem. but if parants listen to our problem, it makes us feel good. and we knw that u (the parent) care for us. Right. we knw u got problems, and we do smtimes try to help, but wat bout us? as for us, we hav to find anther alternative for a listening ear like a fren, relatives or watever. and, if we tell them (The parents) we consult to ur fren, they say they all wrong, ur parents is right. but y u say dat? we thought dat u didnt wanna knw our problems?
This is the dilemma that most of us (The Sons and daughters) of the people all around the world mostly think of their parents. they need someone to speak out bout all this. I really envy those who can talk to thier parents, can joke wif thier parents (as an adult of coz, nt as kid). why? coz i wanna hv that feeling too. the bonding of a family.
Sigh...hope things get better over here. or i might be moving out sooner or later (That's what u wish too also right dad?).

Oh ya, i dun nid all of u readers ur pity, as i said in the previous entry below, this is jus my diary. i can say wat ever i want.

What is blog for?

Isn't blog is for ppl to write all bout their life? its an online diary,except u can choose whether u want it private or not. It's my problem wat i choose to write here. i wanna write bout happy or sad stuff its my problem, because why? It's FREE! Internet itself is so called a free world. i dont care what u gonna say, i'm gonna keep on writing. just hope what i write next time is about some thing more into the livelier side rather den the dark side of my life.

All the best to me!~

Putting the past behind me.

Well, let bygone be bygone. I couldn't care less wat happens to me in the past. i still got days, weeks, months or might be years ahead till i die.. so, this is still nt the end. As for the bitch, she being childish and immature as she always been can do watever she want, i can just say WHATEVER to all ur antics.

Trying to love life all over again...
Someone, please guide me the way.. LOL!

I'm wondering

Sometime i wonder, why she even bother check up on my blog?
O.o

Thank You!

Thanks everyone who visits my blog n gimme support, while some just read n left.. haha!
Nonetherless, Arigato Gozaimasu, Xie Xie, Terima Kasih, (I forgot thanks in Tamil T.T), THANK YOU!

Keep up for the latest! haha!

Adam Lambert anyone?

To my surprise Adam Lambert is GAY! HUWAHAHAHA! i totally didnt see that one coming... This news sure break alot of females heart all over the world! HAHAHA!
Here's the link! http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20090610/ten-entertainment-us-lambert-db3f2d5.html Poor Kris Allen, he must hv freak out wen ever he sees Adam Lambert again.. HAHAHA!

She's afraid! HAHA!

she's afraid for her friends to see the truth! she delete my friend from facebook too, and im sure she delete this blog's thread in her wall so that all her "Friends and Family" didnt get to see the real her and they all will side her bcoz she dunwan them to knw the truth, she knw if her friends knw the truth, her friends will hate her guts!
haha! that's wat u get if u messing wif me..

HUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LOL! Cyber bitching?

LMAO! That bitch really want an all out war with me in the Internet. Why cant u do it in front of my face? Being a pussy that u are u didnt dare to do it. Cmon, bring it! U really wanna make this go public right? u try to embarassed me in ur facebook eh? haha! thank god i write back in defense and put this blog's address there for all ur "Friends and Family" knw wat kinda bitch u are. i hav been very nice, good, tolerate with u and u step on my head? I'm done being the nice guy! Im done being the quiet guy, im DONE WITH U! Literally! After all this 4 years i knw U well enough, INSIDE and out! and u dare some more to involve some1 thats not even involve in all this shit all the way to Malaysia! I'm really surprised that u would go that low! u are really a low life! I always thought ur a good women, how stupid of me not seeing that for 4 FUCKING YEARS! Thank god its already ended and i didnt end up getting married to some used item.. THANK GOD! haha! hows that for my defense?! cool huh?! For some of u guys who didnt knw, i tried to be friends with her even tho we broken up, but she jus want war with me, so dis is wat she get. i can stop now if u want to make peace, i still got aloooooooooooooooottttt of stuff to make u all pissed off, so i suggest u surrender n make peace, if not, hell is coming ur way! So i hope she like this latest blog entry! ^^

Eat it bitch!

The End of The Journey Together For WiL and FiE

I'm here to write about myself being dump by Ex-Girlfriend of 3 years and 10 month for 3 times in that period. have u ever feel of losing someone u love before? I have, no, my parent havent died yet. i lost someone dat i love dearly is my ex. ya ya i know some of u there think im a loser and writing all bout my loser life here but no, im here bcoz i feel abused and cant defend for my right with her. although i love her, she never seems to think dat way,she thinks dat i always had another girl, i nvr love her, i nvr serious with her and so on. she always think the opposite of me. i love her so damn much bcoz she took care of me like a real wife, wen im sick, she cares for me, wen i wanna eat something, she'll cook for me n so on. i did the same thing to her, i care bout her. but after our patch up on February 16th 2009 she become cold towards me, act like a bitch, she hates ppl call her a bitch and yet she act like one. she would scold me for no reason, she would get mad for no reason, if she nt happy with someone else, she will divert the anger to me. wat am i? ur punching bag? i also got a feeling too. wen ever i scolded her, she will sulk for a long time till i say sorry to her, but as for me, after she scolded me, even tho im nt wrong, she would not apologise to me AT ALL. She jus heck care.. talking bout her feeling, i also hav one. she is very thick headed, wat ever she said must be true, not my word, not her mom's word, not her bro's word is true, only her words are legit. she would get angry if someone oppose her. her ego, is like a man's ego. i knw, coz im a guy.. why cant she be like herself 3 years ago? so nice, listen to wat i say, nvr raise her voice and so on. now she's the totaly opposite. now, she's trying to cut communication with me, delete me from facebook, maybe who knows she kept a scandal from knowing im her real boyfriend. she still owes me my M1 bills, and she wants to cut communication wif me? haiz, my life is so totally fucked up, thanx to her. i am just me, i nvr cheated on u, i nvr hit u, i nvr always make u angry, but y u do dis to me? i dun deserve all this crap! i deserve better from u!

It's look like July 7th 2005 is now R.I.P
R.I.P my love... Rafidah Binte Rahim
to bad i nvr got the chance to dump u coz i was so much in love with u.
"Life will never be fair to you"

Life is great this past few weeks, but love life is still sucky!

Bought a HDTV, i got internet access again this thursday, painted the whole house, family have been very great. Fie on the other hand have been giving me Hell.. gee.. no surprise there right?

If Bitch is what u want, Bitching is wat u get..

Wanna act like a bitch? well i can giv a hell of it to anyone who's try to be funny with me especially my gf... she already started a war with me and war she will get. she didnt even apologize to me when she did something wrong to me.. and suddenly out of the blue in the middle of fighting she wanna go out "Spend time" with me... well if she knows she was off that day she could tell me earlier a day b4 right? she can even apologize to me at the same time and we all be happy right? but noooooo... she somemore blame me im being an ass wen she call to ask me out.. the thing wen i didnt answer her call at the 1st place was becoz mayb she wanna pick a fight with me, but she suddenly wanna ask me out.. after ignoring me for 3 weeks and now suddenly got time to see me? ROFL! b4 u wanna ask me out u should apologize to me for being an ass to me, thn i might consider going out wif u or not... u are driving me crazy, women!
so immature, still wanna fight like we jus got together, come on la.. we nearly 4 years together, we surely sun nid all this fucking crap... grow up la darling...

I'm lonely

It's been a while, but i miss her.. so damn much. and i got nothing else to say.

Im pissed right now!

Why u might ask? coz my bloody girlfriend ignores me! she's doing what ever she can to ignore me. she even delete me from her facebook. maybe she dun wanna let her friends see my picture of me and her in my facebook. why the hell u playing this kinda game with me ah? u think this is fun? if u really wanna do this kinda game to me, fine! i can do alot better in making u very pissed! i can jus say things that can make u angry! but im not gonna do that, for now that is.. im already at my boiling point so this things might happens sooner than later.. so just expect something gonna bad coming your way. this can change if u do something about it. bout i dun think u gonna do something about it. why? coz u r not the problem solver, u r the problem maker. so im gonna giv u time to think and to act. dun act like a bitch when ur not ok?

Am I In China Or In Singapore?

I dont really get it why the Singapore government want us Singaporean to learn Mandarin. Are we in China? I dont think so man.. They should make Singaporean to Improve our official National language which is English AND our unofficial official language which is Malay. Why didnt they teach our people to learn malay? We singaporean have been speaking malay since the old times and its gone as an official language since the 70s! The ads in the TV where those Caucasian and black kids speaking in mandarin to promote mandarin speaking in Singapore is kinda bugging me.. No offense to my local Chinese friends in Singapore but Chinese here are just an immigrant from china from the year 1800s as a trader. and now from what i see they are trying to take over Singapore as like a part of china. I even heard some uneducated Americans think Singapore is in china. That really piss me off dude! If some of u havent know our National Anthem are in Malay title "Majulah Singapura" and I even heard rumors that they maybe going to change it to English.. WHAT THE FUCK?! Whats next u may ask? maybe after this our Dollar notes surely gonna change to Lee Kuan Yew from the currently our 1st president Yusoff Ishak, i wont be suprise. Im not being racist, i love my chinese friends but you all must know the Roots of Singapore! Singapore or Temasek when it was last call was a part of malaysia until the greedy sultan sell it to british and until now we never get our place in Singapore. Every thing must be chinese in Singapore, even working in singapore some employers just want chinese or mandarin speakers only. why must you be racist? did you forget that you people are just an immigrant? and now Singapore is slowly becoming china. Why i said that? Because Singapore employers love importing China workers! they dont even speak english! I even have experience when i bought a drink at a local seller "Sweet Talk", I ordered an oreo cappuccino but the china girl didnt understand me. Im sure u have that experience b4... ArgggHhhhhh! dis is so annoying sia.. Anyway if i got anything, i post more of this shit.

MAJULAH SINGAPURA!

I'm trading punches with a sissy! LITERRALLY!

Ok, here goes... Actually I wanna tell this problem of mine to my gf Fie but since i can't get her on the line i post my shit here...

16th April 2009 around 9PM i got into a fight with my sissy little brother here he is: [Picture removed]
Why i call him a sissy u might ask? because he was so afraid i punch him in the face, he grip me so i cant blow any punches except on the back of his head. it doesnt hurt much as you got punch in the face if you dont know how i feel.

So here the story goes, arnd 9PM he went back from work, i saw him wearing my watch and my Adidas jacket. so i yell at him asking why is he wearing my watch without asking my permission. he said it was lying around that is why he use it. I remember it very well i place it in my wardrobe. then without no clue he started punching me when im on the phone with Fie. then i start punching him back as in self defense, so like i have no idea he kinda like grip me like a bear hug so i cant hit him (Only sissy do that because sissy afraid of getting punch in the face.) somehow i manage to get free and punch him at the back on his head about 3 times and that my parents come and stop the fight... he being a sissy that he is, he know in his head that he cant beat me he use other alternative like destroying my stuff like my Puma watch that Fie bought me 4 years ago which is so dear to me, my computer and all my expensive stuff.. ROFL! He cant even afford to buy his own Boxers short! he steal mine and i jus gave him because i hate other people balls on my boxers... you can imagine how stupid he is man trying to break me by breaking my stuff. i really wanna beat him till he knows who is stronger but, the problem is:
1. Cant fight at home coz to small to fight
2. Cant fight at home coz my parents is there
3. Cant fight at home because if he cant beat me he will break my stuff
4. Cant fight Outside because if public see they will report to police for rioting
5. I really hate fighting as goes the saying "I'm a lover not a fighter" LOL!

So i really dont know what i should do now man, if he borrows my things with permissions i can borrow him my stuff but he didnt! that what pissed me the most! Right now he's at work wearing my Nike Shoe that Fie Bought me as an anniversary present and my Dead Puma watch without my permission. I hate he's wearing my shoe coz he got fucking bad smelly feet and i dont want my shoe got that bloody smell! The shoe is so dear to me coz Fie bought it for our anniversary and i dont want any1 to ruin it! he didnt understand that. he only wants to look good with my stuff. If any1 of you happen to see him outside ask him this "Is that what youre wearing belong to ur brother wil?" he surely embarrassed. ARGHHHHHHHHHH im all stressed out and got no1 to talk to sia!! MAY U BURN IN HELL LITTLE BROTHER!

Oh yeah one of the stuff got destroyed is this Mugs from my love Fie and my fren Heidi. He's head is really fucked up man.

Someone is Angry!

Someone is angry bout what i post few days back and want me to remove it ASAP. I think i should remove it, i think i just make her lose her face la... but i dont really think that any1 ever read my blog.. Gee..she's not the only victim here...

Ciggarettes!

God DAMN! this thing is driving me crazy! Now i know what it feels like to get addicted. Curse you tobacco!!! But, here's the thing. My brain wants me to smoke but my body reject it.. I dunno how to explain this but this is how it is man.. Since before i was a smoker i cant tolerate with the smell of it coz i can get migraine just by being close to sm1 who are smoking and now im in it.. stupid aint it?

Countdown to The Sims 3 launch!

March 7th? What should I do?

Its my Girlfriend (FiE) birthday on the 7th March and i dunno what i should buy for her. I only have $60 left to find a job, and was thinking spare a few bucks to buy her something nice.. but i dunno.. still deciding now..

March 2nd 2009 - 11:13PM

The Reason I Start Smoking Back

The reason is... This may sound stupid but i start it back because i wanna get addicted to it and quit! I just wanna know how hard is it to quit smoking. I hear whining from people that i know complaining its very hard to quit smoking, so i wanna try it myself and experience it first hand. You may think its stupid but think about it as an experiment! Ok now, gotta smoke! Chiow!

March 2nd 2009 - 11:10PM

Kaachiinngg!!!

Got that money from the Government! Honestly i was very disappointed to get only $200! DUDE! 200 bucks cant get me NOWHERE! i was expecting 600 bucks since "They" said they will give out the amount double of last year. But who cares... I was thinking of buying myself a birthday present (How sad buying myself present), a metal Zippo lighter or some shit like it but i cant dude.. I got priorities (I'm more sadder now can't buy myself a birthday present T.T)!. Like topping up my EZ-Link card for far, buy myself some shit and stuff, but i spend it on movies, food, cigarettes and pre-paid mobile top up.. DAMN IT! Where did the money go so fast! ARGHHH!! as i said 200 bucks cant go so far, gotta find job soon!

Wish me luck guys!

March 1st 2009 - 11.44PM

>>> Fast Foward! >>>

So, it's been quite awhile again since i write in coz my computer fucked up again, had to send for repairs and they said my RAM messed up and they want money to replace it but i don't coz i know i can fix this damn computer on my own and save money (but i wasted my money for cab to take this PC home! T.T).. so.... far, fast forward a month my life has been so messed up! i got dump by my love. My life was a mess, i don't eat well i don't sleep well, i can't think straight because of all this shit.

Fast forward 1 and a half week i met Fie begging her to take me back but to no avail i got rejected (I bruise my ego and have to Thicken my face to do this shit!).

Then, Fast forward again 3 weeks later, on my birthday February 16th (Yeah i got no birthday present from anyone, that sucks doesn't it?) after the whole day attending a talk seminar, i wanted to meet Fie, so we met. We talk, we laugh, we joke around and then i talk into her to bring me back, and she did (Yeah, I'm in a way you can say that i learn my shit very well).

So after about a month and a half My life is like a fucking roller coaster ride full with ups and downs. what I learn this past month is precious and it teaches me a lot in life and in love. I learn to appreciate her and try to make the best out of this relationship.
Now onto the next part of my life is, FINDING A FREAKING JOB THAT'S SUITS ME!

Adious Amigos! HUWAHAHA!!
March 1st 2009 - 11.33PM

Long time coming...

It's been awhile since i post my shit here...
life has been bad ever since.. try my best to pour it all out here soon.. ^^

Money, Stress and Pain...

I've been waiting and wanting for the Government money for me to use it as a "Fuel" to find jobs. It has been 4 month since i was retrenched. Honestly speaking, I thought it I'm gonna get a job at least a month after I got retrenched, but I was wrong. Hmmm, well you can say that mostly my predictions went wrong coz I'm just suck at it and luck is always not on my side... I need to find a job A.S.A.P as I'm gonna save money for marriage and stuff.. You might say that I/m lazy not finding a job sooner but all of you don't know what the situation I have right now. I got no money now for bus fare to find the bloody jobs. And I can't borrow any more money from anyone anymore coz I already borrowed a total sum of $300 for me to find the bloody job. I can't keep on borrowing money from people, then some of you might say borrow money from your parents lah, well I can say that I'm too embarrassed to ask them money. Reason you may ask? easy, they also in tight situation and I don't want to trouble them some more. That's why I can't ask them for money.. Sometime I ask myself why God did this to me, He is suppose to help me, not much I ask just a few Hundreds bucks to spare me to find jobs.. I know He gave me life and so on and I should be thankful.. But in this cruel world, MONEY is the language of the world. No money, No nothing, NO LIFE! I know that i might be the most ungrateful person in the world and I'm sorry for it, I've been trying so hard to change myself.All this stress is killing me from the inside... I just need to get out from this misery business. This may sound stupid and childish but I really wish I got some kind of a windfall on me like alot of cash so I can do whatever I want with my life, and maybe start a business. Who knows? Haiz.. this is all just a dream and i know it very well that all this won't happen. I need to work all this shit out.
[6th January 2009 / 4:02am]

The Return of The COM!

I got my computer back after 3 days at maintenance. Glad I got it back, I thoght im gonna lose it forever! LOL!

The Root of My problem...

Ok, yesterday from 9 a.m (3rd January) to 1 a.m (4th January) we talked shit out, all she said was I'm the one who was not being a thoughtful boyfriends. I know I've been neglected towards her, but I myself also need some time alone for myself. She compared me to Dave (My best friend Heidi's boyfriend at that time, saying that well yeah, same thing Dave did to Heidi which is neglecting her. I myself know I Love Her, but she think otherwise. After few hours of shouting and screaming over the phone at her, i gave up and just stay cool and left her to say whatever she wanna say...
[5th January 2009 / 12:30am]

The Definition of My Problems

Is it wrong for me to go out with any female friends even though i told Fie bout it? For me, I don't see any wrong by going out with any female friends because they are just a FRIENDS! Nothing more than that. She always said "Friends also can be a lover if you get too close". I was like hmmmm...jealousy is a normal thing in our genes, people do get jealous, but over-jealousy?! Have anyone been in the same shoe as mine?
Example: Your parents are OVER protective, for sure you're gonnna be damn annoyed right? Like in this Scenario "Mum: Alex! Don't play in the sand, you'll get sand fly on your skin!" "You: MOM! I was just walking over the sand mom, not like I'm gonna play with the sand".
As you can see, there are things that are we can naturally accept, but over doing it can hurt or annoy other people, and it might even hurt yourself doing so! I really she can read this blog. I want her to read it without wanting her to read it...
[1st January 2009 / 5:39am]

The Story of how all this happens...

29th, 30th and 31st December 2008, Fie had been acting cold towards me. This happens maybe because of what happened at McDonalds on the 28th December 2008. I was having some time there surfing the internet. The laptop was very slow at that time, I was pissed and accidentally raised my voice at her while I was MSN-ing with my friend Heidi. Maybe she was hurt when I raised my voice at her and I was sorry for what I’ve done. I did it unintentionally, and after that she stay quiet for quite some time, and I ask her what’s wrong but she said “Nothing”. I kept bugging her for sometime because I know she’s not happy with something. And then she just left me by just saying “You don’t know what the meaning of love and jealousy is!” I was set back a moment thinking “what the hell was that suppose to mean?” I know I mad a mistake and was sorry about it. Then I think it was maybe that I was MSN-in with Heidi and that’s why maybe she was jealous. I mean when I MSN-ing Heidi, Fie was beside me, I’m sure she was watching me MSN to Heidi and I’m sure she saw whatever we were chatting about. Then, what was her PROBLEM?! We didn’t do funny stuff or whatever, we were just talking bout that BLOODY DAVE!! What’s there to be jealous about? This puzzle me, in fact, Fie herself is so puzzling that it’s hardly to understand her lately. At one point she can be happy and in a blink of an eye she can change. Lately she have been very aggressive towards me, she would provoke me in any ways that she would make me pissed , when I’m pissed, I got angry, when I’m angry, she would get it from me. You get the picture? She making me mad and make me look like the bad guy and makes people see her as the innocent ones!! How cunning that is?! Haiz…
(1st January 2009 – 5:24am)

The Origins of All My Problems....

The thing is that lately, Fie had given me a lot of problems although it’s been awhile since my so called “scandal” with an online Girlfriend. She always had given me a hard time with her. A small mistake can become a huge thing; she likes to drag a lot of mistakes and stuff. And I was like “c’mon let bygone be bygone lah!” I can’t think straight now… brb later… (31^st December 2008 – 9:28pm)